The good, the bad, and the ugly

First, the good. I went into two different stores today and tried on two different styles of pants and both, yes, count 'em, one, two, both were a size smaller! Not only were they smaller, but in the bottom and in the front at the top of the thighs, they were "bunchy". You know, that excess fabric that makes you look like you have a second stomach? Or, in my case, third? So maybe (geez, it's hard to type with my fingers crossed), just maybe, I'll be able to fit into more of my "outgrown" clothes by the spring. I hope so 'cause I've got some doggoned cute capris I've been itchin' to wear!

The ugly is that the scales only showed a .2 lb. weight loss this morning. I'm still using http://my-calorie-counter.com (I highly recommend paying the $5 a month for full use of this site) and I'm taking in well below 800 calories a day. Something's gotta give and I find I'm starting to look forward to the first fill.

The bad is that I almost had a meltdown in Wal-Mart today. I was tired after running some other errands, and I mean I was whupped. I'd checked everything off my list except Velveeta. Yes, Velveeta. Of all things to get upset over, I had to choose that yucky loaf of processed yellow schtuff. All I wanted to do was find that hunka cheese and go home. Is it in the macaroni and cheese section? Nope. In the refridgerated case with the other cheeses? Nyuh-uh. It was across the aisle from the Mexican food products. In some ways it makes sense, and in other ways not a lick. At least I was able to get everything I needed and make my way through the checkout line, holding the tears in until I was safely in my car with my sunglasses on and the Kleenex with lotion handy.

There's such a push to return to your normal activities as soon as possible after LB surgery. That's great because it keeps wimps like me from lying in bed, wallowing in self-pity and a pain medication-induced stupor. But it can also leave you feeling like you need to justify a rest time each afternoon, maybe a little snooze if you can work one in. It's almost like you're expected to overlook the fact that you've undergone major surgery and you're not eating very much and your emotions are up and down and here and there and hither and yon...all over the danged emotional map. Personally, I felt that I should be up and kicking into Molly Maid mode by a week postop, but that didn't happen. I was simply too tired.

So I'm learning to listen...to me. To my body. When my body says rest I'm going to listen. I'm not lazy. I'm not a hypochondriac. I'm a woman with a lot going on in her life whose body has been through a lot in the past few years.

And I really don't want to cry over processed cheese food.

Today's weight: 221.4