Crap. Double crap. Triple crap. To infinity and beyond crap. With the reintroduction of regular food (sans bread) into my diet, has come a whole new level of caca, poopoo, doodoo, crappy discouragement. This is where logic and emotion come to a parting of the ways, flipping each other the bird and stomping to their separate corners of the psyche, sporting storm clouds over their heads, grumblin' and cussin' as they go.
Logically I knew this would happen. I understood that my weight loss would, in all likelihood, stall and that I could possibly even gain some weight back. After all, I haven't had my first fill yet so restriction is nowhere at hand. Heck, most people don't even get restriction 'til at least the third fill.
Emotionally though? Now that is a different matter. Emotionally I'm thinking "Hey! Fatso! What's the use of eating 2 ounces of this and 1 ounce of that? What's the use of skipping those damned good cake balls your daughter made? Why are you making me suffer like this? Why? Why? Whyyyyy???" This is accompanied by the usual rending of garments and tearing out of hair (it's not lack of protein that causes some LB patients to lose their hair, it's frustration).
But what's a gal to do, huh? Surgery ain't fun. I sure don't want all the months of medical appointments and exercise and weight loss compliance to be for nothing. So I do what the majority of LAP-BANDers do. I keep plugging away, logging every bite and sip I take, every step I take on the treadmill and every weight I lift, into a journal. And I wait...I wait for the first fill, or the second fill, or the third...however many it takes before progress is made and I begin to see the real benefits to putting myself and my family through the worry of an elective surgery.
Today's weight: 220.2
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5 comments:
I could never word what I want to say with flowery rehetoric like you but I want you to know that down here in GA, your little sis is soooo proud of you. I also know how hard headed you are and have complete faith that you can do this. I love you.
I just want to say "I wuv you" and I'm proud of you, too. Hang in there, girl.
I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to go through such major changes, Oggie. However, I'm sending you hugs and wishing you so much success with this -- and a new and healthy you. Feel good about the progress you've made so far, as it's one day at a time, friend.
Keep going Beck!
Find an exciting project to do that will keep your mind from focusing on the weight loss.
You're running a marathon...keep on runnin and think pleasant thoughts!
Love ya!
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