Ghoul Food

Why, oh why, did hallowe'en have to fall during an especially stressful time? Why? Why? Why? I can resist the lure of mini candy bars. Oh yes, you Butterfinger bar, you devil you. I see you beckoning to me. I can taste your crunchy orange center and almost feel it sticking to my teeth.

Baby Ruth? You're not a baby. Babies are innocent. You're the devil with your gooey peanut center wrapped in chocolate.

Snickers? Ha ha! I snicker in the face of your attempts to woo me.

But Tootsie Roll? Tootsie, you're my weakness. I can't resist your pull. I can sniff you out no matter how well hidden you are.

Damn you Tootsie Roll...daaaammmmnnn you *melodramatic fist-shaking, shirt-rending, hair-pulling, ground-pounding tantrum ensues).