Wow! Yippee! Wha hoo!!

The weight has been sliding off since my fill five days ago, but I'm still trying to learn to work with my band. One of the most important things I've learned is as soon as I feel the beginning of discomfort in my chest, STOP EATING. It doesn't matter if I've only taken two bites of my turkey bacon or a half cup of chunk chicken...STOP. If I don't, I'm double-dog guaranteed to end up with a pressure type of chest pain that literally stops me in my tracks. I don't feel that the food is stuck at that point, it's more a feeling that it's just sitting in the upper stomach taking up space and will hurt until it's digested.

The downside is that I'm hungry again within an hour after eating, which probably means I need a bit more fluid in the band. I'll call or e-mail the nurse today and get her opinion.

An oddity to me is the way my weight loss seems to be different than other times I've managed to lose. When I was this weight the last time (about two years ago) my 22's were tight and my rings were too. Now my rings are slipping and sliding on my fingers and my 22's are a tad baggy in the seat. My 2x shirts are starting to fit looser too; my DIL pointed out that my jacket looks like it's just hanging on me now. Weird.

Today's weight: 213.2 lbs.

Well, that was easy!

I'd sure worked myself into a dither worrying about my first fill, or "adjustment". It didn't help when the doctor himself said I may experience some discomfort the first few times. But I'll tell you what, it was a cinch! I hardly felt anything; certainly much, much less than having blood drawn. Heck, it was less than poking yourself with a needle. I know that there are people who have a problem with fills, who experience discomfort or even pain. So much of it comes down the skill of your surgeon. Dr. K is the first bariatric surgeon in our area and I'm grateful every day for the perfect timing of my surgical process. He's not one to spend a lot of time with you (he's too busy for that), but I'm the type of person to find his no-nonsense manner reassuring.

Today's weight: 216.2

ETA: This morning I tried on some of my old size 22's...and they fit! Comfortably! I mean, I can breathe in 'em! I haven't been able to wear this size in almost two years. Now, I realize that to some of y'all, a 22 is still pretty humongous. Heck. What am I saying? To me it's still pretty humongous. But doggone it all, a victory is a victory and I'm grateful for every single bit of progress.

Okay, who spiked my decaf Splenda-sweetened tea...

...with Red Bull? It's as if my energy levels have returned to normal literally overnight.

Hally loo yah, it's a muracle!

I was feeling significantly better at five weeks postop when I got hit by another *#&#(@_&#! sinus infection that knocked me for a loop and kept me down for almost a week. But this afternoon? This afternoon? This. Afternoon?!?!?!

This afternoon, for the first time since my surgery, I feel like my brain and my body are awake. My brain is buzzing with things I want to get done around the house. I want to go get my nails done and have my hair styled.

I feel like me again, only "new and improved".

Okay, this is confusing

I spent days obsessively recording every bite of food and sip of liquid, every minute on the treadmill and every weight lifted, and then I got sick with another blasted sinus infection. All I wanted to eat or drink was acid-y stuff, mainly tomato soup and orange juice. Now, those are Bozo no-nos for a bandster because they're considered empty calories, passing right through the smaller upper stomach to the lower portion without contributing to satiety or fullness.

But for whatever reason, it seemed to kick my weight loss back into gear because I lost the two pounds I'd gained when I restarted regular foods plus a little more.

Oh well. I reckon I'll get fussed at for not following the band rules when I go back to the doctor Wednesday, but at least the scales will show progress.

Today's weight: 217.2

Do the limbo

Crap. Double crap. Triple crap. To infinity and beyond crap. With the reintroduction of regular food (sans bread) into my diet, has come a whole new level of caca, poopoo, doodoo, crappy discouragement. This is where logic and emotion come to a parting of the ways, flipping each other the bird and stomping to their separate corners of the psyche, sporting storm clouds over their heads, grumblin' and cussin' as they go.

Logically I knew this would happen. I understood that my weight loss would, in all likelihood, stall and that I could possibly even gain some weight back. After all, I haven't had my first fill yet so restriction is nowhere at hand. Heck, most people don't even get restriction 'til at least the third fill.

Emotionally though? Now that is a different matter. Emotionally I'm thinking "Hey! Fatso! What's the use of eating 2 ounces of this and 1 ounce of that? What's the use of skipping those damned good cake balls your daughter made? Why are you making me suffer like this? Why? Why? Whyyyyy???" This is accompanied by the usual rending of garments and tearing out of hair (it's not lack of protein that causes some LB patients to lose their hair, it's frustration).

But what's a gal to do, huh? Surgery ain't fun. I sure don't want all the months of medical appointments and exercise and weight loss compliance to be for nothing. So I do what the majority of LAP-BANDers do. I keep plugging away, logging every bite and sip I take, every step I take on the treadmill and every weight I lift, into a journal. And I wait...I wait for the first fill, or the second fill, or the third...however many it takes before progress is made and I begin to see the real benefits to putting myself and my family through the worry of an elective surgery.

Today's weight: 220.2

The hokey-pokey really isn't what it's all about

After anxiety-ridden, nail-biting, stomach churning days of girding myself up for my first fill it didn't happen. Nope, no fills at four weeks postop, but...oh yeah, it gets good here...I can eat regular food again! Oh joy of joys! Happiness of happinesses! Bliss of blisses! (No, wait - that sounds too much like "blintzes"). There are, of course, guidelines to choose those foods by and rules to be followed. Plenty of protein. None (or very limited anyhow) calorie-containing beverages and liquids. That's okay. I knew this was coming and had already set about changing my mindset towards food. That's not to say this is going to be easy. Reintroducing regular foods into my diet creates its own challenges, but I'm prepared.

Now, if I can just get over the jitters thinking about the fill I probably will get in two weeks.

Giddy-up

As the week progresses, I become more and more giddy. Getting my first fill in just a couple of days means that shortly afterward I'll be able to move beyond liquids and "mushies" to real food again. Oh, I know that I won't get restriction until I've had a few fills and that I'll have to continue measuring and doling out my 2 oz. of food, but...

...I'll be able to enjoy taste and texture again. With that in mind, I've actually started going through my recipes, planning healthy, well-balanced meals. Because my intake is so limited I want to prepare things that taste good. I don't want eating to be an exercise in denial; I want it to be a celebration of health and taste and flavor and texture - a step toward ensuring that HH and I enjoy a long and active life together.

Salmon. Grilled salmon. With a tangy sauce. Oooooh yeah.

Sorry - didn't mean to drool. I need to borrow one of the grandbaby's bibs.